Teresa B.

Smug Self-Righteousness

smugAbout five years ago, I remember chatting about the LGBT movement that the media splashed about.  I believe that five of us were involved in the conversation (all participants will remain unnamed).  It was during the time when Chick-fil-A’s chief operating officer publicly denounced same-sex marriage.  It’s clear in my mind because I can remember picking my daughter up from work (which was located next to the Chick-fil-A), and there being a major traffic jam because of the long line of cars, filled with so-called saintly people, who were waiting to purchase their hate-filled dinners in support of discrimination based on sexual preference.

Anyway, one of us four women took a hard stance against it.  This individual spouted on about how it was a sin, and that the two lesbians partaking in the conversation were headed straight for hell.  She said it went against human nature, and it was an affront to traditional marriage.  My jaw dropped.

I couldn’t believe how smug she was in her belief that only her perspective had merit.  Her narrow mindedness shocked each one of us.  I sat there, ears burning, as her hate-filled narrative assaulted me.  Assaulted us all.  At the same time, I experienced an overwhelming sense of compassion for the two lesbians, who both forced back tears, as their life choices were belittled and thrown back in their faces as the greatest sin of mankind.

Neither one of these women deserved her wrath.  And honestly, who the hell was she to cast such judgment on another person.  Surely, she wasn’t perfect.  In fact, she was going against one of the ten commandments herself; judging these two women like she was the holiest of all holy people.

Reflecting on this I’ve concluded that smug self-righteousness exposes a person’s true hateful nature.  It’s revealed in the holier-than-thou rhetoric that is seen so often today.  Don’t get me wrong.  I believe that it’s good to have strong convictions and beliefs, but not at the expense of someone else’s humanity.  No one has the right to strip away another’s sense of self-dignity.

Before a person imposes their set of beliefs on someone else, I believe they should pause for a moment to consider how their rhetoric impacts others; consider their own imperfections before imposing judgment on another.  Just because they might not make the choice someone else has made, it doesn’t make that choice wrong.  It’s simply just wrong for that specific individual.  Maybe we need to practice that adage, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all,” a little more.

10 comments

  1. this world doesn’t cease to amaze me.
    I just don’t understand one simple thing “let people be, let them do what they are doing until they harm you”
    what happened to patience and acceptance. and if you don’t have both change your path. simple.

    I am so fucking tired of people, I swear.

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  2. The people who use religion really should hark back to the days of the Romans and the persecution of Christians. There are many such stories through history, not always religious, where one groups makes another ‘seem’ different, and therefore, dangerous (morally or otherwise).
    That woman you speak of has never suffered the indescribable pain and humiliation of being ‘on the outer’ of ‘current’ acceptance, of being ‘different’ for no physical, sociological or rational reason. I’m sure both the other females were capable of logical thought, of making decisions, of showing forbearance of those who may have differing attitudes.
    The attitude of the bigot is appalling, disgusting and horrifying. She is become the Romans, sure that the world would be better if only …
    And it seems she feels that the air she breathes is contaminated by those who do not follow her doctrine, she is obligated to tell them of it, and she is more entitled to have her say and do things her way than any other living, breathing person on the planet. I have two fingers in response to her tirade, and I hope she one day sees herself in the same leaky boat, feels the same fear, that she has engendered with those hateful words.

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    • I just don’t understand how a person can have that much hate bottled up, and then have the nerve to mask it with religion. And there are so many people who leverage their religion to validate their own bias thoughts. It really is a sad thing.

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      • I often wonder if they fear the [unlikely] possibility that one of ‘these’ people might (or might not) want them. Can it truly be as simple as fear? But the brainwashing is constant, reinforcing, and cruel. Something, somewhere always wants to find a difference and separate ‘them’ from ‘us’ – but that was when we were small tribes having to fight for resources and survival … and it seems some (or many) have not changed.
        I was a foster carer, mainly to adolescents, whose birth-parents were people who didn’t understand the needs of a child/ren. I personally cannot believe that a marriage between a man and a woman (which was the case for all my fosters) is better than any other alternative (I was single at the time, working full-time, and not much older than my charges). I got help from many people, and I never once asked if they belonged to a particular race, creed, colour, or belief. If they had a heart, if they cared, if they showed the level of respect and love required, they were part of our ‘family’ – and demonstrated very well to these extremely troubled kids that family, that love, is more than blood, more than acceptance, more than rules. Love has no boundaries, care has no limits, community is diverse for a reason.
        And yes, I tend to rant because I feel very strongly that we all need to be open and communicative and accepting, because the ones who suffer most are the children. Always. And why force them to grow up with that much fear, forced to wear the mask of ‘normality’ that doesn’t exist.

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