Relinquished Personal Power

day8The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.

~ Alice Walker

Today’s inspirational quote has compelled me to admit something I never thought I would – I have given up all my personal power in the past.  I have.  Pathetic I know, but it happened.  I was young at the time (tender age of 18), and thought I had all the answers.  That my future was certain.  That there was no other path that life would thrust me down.  That I was in total control, and would always be in total control.

Boy was I wrong.

The day the violence began in my first marriage, I gave up any power I had ever had.  I didn’t even realize I surrendered it, but I did.  I allowed the violence to continue after the first instance of it.  To be frank, I felt powerless.  Felt that I had no means of changing my situation.  I gave any personal power I’d ever had to my ex-husband in that instance.  And my powerlessness lasted for 4 years.

Doesn’t sound like much time, does it?  It was.  1,460 days of hopelessness. 35,040 hours of sheer chaos and panic.  Every moment I experienced seemed to double itself in length, and any hope of having the power to change my life appeared to be drifting farther away.  Until I snapped out of it, and took it all back.

From this experience I learned that we are only powerless when we surrender.  When we don’t fight for ourselves, and for what we deserve as human beings: respect, kindness, love, and safety.  I promised myself I would never allow that to happen again, and to date, it hasn’t.

So, promise yourselves to never give your power away.  Hold it close.  Go to battle for it.  It’s yours and you deserve it.

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