Day 31: You Can’t Fake Happily-Ever-After

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

~ Woody Allen

Today’s quote is often used in motivational seminars for the business world, and while it applies to business, it also applies to life in general.  Specifically, marriage.

I’ve seen marriages whose outer-crust is full of shine and glamour.  Almost as if there is a perfect world ensconced behind the glittery external coating, but it’s true face is sunken and hollow.  It’s nothing more than two people going through the motions, yet there is no true mental engagement in the relationship.

The only reason I mention this is because my husband, Todd, and I have had great difficulty in finding married couples to befriend.  What typically happens is, one of us will encounter a married person at our places of employment.  From what we’ve been told, they are happily married – best friends – can’t live a moment without each other.  So, he or I then set up a night to meet up with said happily-ever-after-couple, and the outcome, for the most part, is a complete and utter disappointment.

Typically, what occurs is, he will be hanging out with the husband and I will be hanging out with the wife.  Inevitably what happens is, each one of the two spends the entire time complaining about the other.  News flash – this is not the definition of happily married that both me and Todd have.  By the end of the evening, it’s clear that neither person has shown up to the marriage.

You’ve probably already guessed it but in the end, Todd and I decide to not hang out with them again, and we return to our favorite pastime – each other.

For me and Todd, and I’m say this with a high level of confidence, success in our marriage is a direct result of showing up, not just physically but mentally as well.  We are engaged in one another on a physical level as well as a mental one.  While this quote is true in saying that 80% of success involves showing up, true success is reaching that 100%.

The only way achieve real marital success is to show up, become involved, and do more than just go through the motions.

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