I Confess, I’m Not Motivated

Okay, today’s daily word prompt, trill, didn’t spur a single creative impulse to write about. Wait, that’s not entirely true. It motivated me to write about my lack of motivation.

That’s right. I woke up with a shitty attitude. You know the one I’m speaking of. I didn’t want to get out of bed. Get dressed. Battle traffic on my way to work. Honestly, I don’t want to do a damn thing.

One contributing factor could be the fact that I’m not quite over the flu that started Monday. My muscles still ache. My stomach is still in knots from the two days it spent lurching and heaving. I’m exhausted.

The other factor could be the family disagreement we had with one on my husband’s relatives. A relative who is supremely important to Todd. A person who he loves to no end that seems to neglect Todd at every turn.

I was terrible in this heated moment. No, I was mean. Honestly, I was a b*tch. Funny thing is, I know I should have taken the high road, but I couldn’t help myself.

Have you ever been put in a situation where your protective side takes over, and all you really want to do is shield the person you love the most from another round of pain and disappointment?

This is where I found myself. Now, I wonder if my sharp tongue has only made things worse. I hope not. But if I did, I’m sorry, Todd. Just know I said what I said because I love you. Because you deserve better. Because you shouldn’t have to jump through their flaming hoops for mere morsels of their love and affection.

I love you, Todd.

8 comments

  1. I admire you for your honesty in admitting you went too far in the family issue. No one is perfect. Next time maybe you will make use of this experience to do better. I also hope you continue courageously as you have confessed here, to talk frankly about it to Todd. Let him know how you feel and promise to be more diligent next time. That is what I think. On the whole, I respect you for your frankness especially admitting where you went wrong. It takes courage and a good heart to do thast. Bravo!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Baby. It is okay. I am not upset at what you said in. Fact I love more for saying it. Plus this explosion was what 16 years in the making lol. I love you doodle. And stop worrying about it. It is done. Kisses

    Liked by 1 person

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