Before my illness – before the brain surgery – before the permanent nerve damage – I loved dancing with my husband, Todd. I know it must sound silly, but when we danced, it allowed me to connect with him in an entirely different way. Not only that, but we connected on so many different levels that we could express verbally. It got me wondering how this activity strengthened our relationship.
I think it’s critical in a marriage (or partnership for those of you not married) that cooperation, romance, fun, communication, trust, and teamwork are embedded into the commitment between one another. These components must be part of the foundation that a relationship is built upon. Some would say it takes love, and while love is a catalyst, I don’t think a relationship is sustained merely upon love. Believe me, there are times when anger is in play, and in these uncomfortable moments, it takes trust, communication, commitment, and teamwork to get through it – not love. In my opinion, dancing with my spouse strengthens these.
If you haven’t guessed yet, I am not a romantic woman by any stretch of the imagination, but I do believe that love exists. I experience it every day with Todd. I just miss those singular moments created by dancing with him. Locking my gaze upon his. Feeling safe in his strong arms. Smelling his cologne. Breathing in unison with him. Living in that single moment where the entire world around me disappears until he is the only person I see.
Those connections are hard to come by via living my life day-to-day. The simple act of dancing with Todd creates a unique opportunity to be intimate with him in nonverbal ways. It’s those nonverbal cues that have allowed me to get to know my husband so much deeper than a conversation over a candlelit dinner ever did.
I read an article that claimed that “93% of our Communication is non-verbal.” I don’t know about you, but that is quite a chunk out of the whole communication in relationships is key. That tells me that no matter how many conversations I have with him, or how long those conversations are, my body language will always say more than my words can. Believe me, I have plenty to say to Todd for the rest of my life.
So, the fact that I’m in pain (daily) puts a damper on dancing with him on a regular basis. Which sucks. I miss it, and all that comes with it. Perhaps I should just suck it up and do it anyway. I mean, I get out of bed and drive to work despite the pain for a paycheck. Shouldn’t the state of my relationship and the level of intimacy it needs be worth any physical discomfort that I might experience? I think so. No. I know so. So tonight, maybe I should wait for him to arrive from work with romantic music on, take him by the hand, and dance with him in the middle of the living room. Who knows where the nonverbal cues will take us.