Recognizing a Better Future

day16When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.

~ Helen Keller

At some point in life, we’ve all wandered endlessly through the purgatory of our past, of our history.  It’s unavoidable.  This quote makes me wonder how many times I’ve missed something much better than the past event I’ve been incessantly staring at.  It’s here nor there now, but I wonder.  Even the act of pondering what I’ve missed is another instance of living my own personal history, and maybe I shouldn’t contemplate it.

Today’s inspirational quote is saying that we shouldn’t get stuck in times gone by.  Instead, we should acknowledge the events that have happened, and move forward.  The simple of act of moving on leads us to new places.  To new opportunities.  To exciting events that won’t happen if we constantly gaze over our shoulders in regret or sadness or longing.

I try to live my life this way, but I have to admit, I do get stuck in reflection that stalls all progress.  I’m human.  What can I say.  We all get stuck until something jars us out of our tunnel vision.  And some things are much harder to get over than others.

Take my life for example (what I’m about to tell you is a fresh wound that consistently repeats itself like a skipping record).  My husband helped me raise my kids, wonderful man that he is, but we both have had an 18-year-long dream, that for some reason only known to the cosmos, is yanked from our grasp frequently.

In fact, this event has occurred twice this year; once in April and once this month (yes, over the Thanksgiving Holiday); and five additional times with its first occurrence in October 2004.

Are you ready?

Todd and I want to have a baby, and each time we get pregnant, we have a miscarriage.

Ugg, just writing that brings a pain that is almost unbearable.  7 miscarriages.

Seven.

I have tried to get past this.  I’ve tried to look forward, but it weighs heavily upon me as a person and as a woman.  For the life of me, I can’t deliver.  Utter failure.  But in the face of these failures (at least this is how I see them), I keep attempting to press forward.

Maybe what this inspirational quote is telling us is that it’s okay to contemplate our past, but warns us not to let the past define us and our futures.   All of us have those things that feel insurmountable.  So, consider them, and then look to the future and all its opportunity laid out before you.  There might be a kernel of happiness waiting for you.

5 comments

  1. My God 😢.
    I have no idea how you survived this.
    But i love your strenght. If this makes you feel better, i know couples who had kids after 20 years of marriage, for the first time. And a rare case where here was no chance of conceiving but a healthy baby came to this world.
    So it is possible.
    I pray for you guys.

    Liked by 1 person

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