Empty Shell of a Life

shellThere was a 7-year gap between my first marriage and my current marriage.  During this time, I went to college (22 hours a semester), took care of two kids by myself, held a full-time job (night manager at a restaurant – Luby’s Cafeteria to be exact), was thrust into a caregiver role for my mother due to an infection in her aortic value, and found out that my daughter was deaf so I started learning sign language.  My life appeared full; brimming over with substance.

It wasn’t.

It was merely a shell of a life.  Meager in every way possible because I was just surviving.  Just keeping my head above water while I bobbed up and down, desperately trying not to drown in the current of my chaotic life.  I needed something more.  Something that could anchor me securely.  Something that could save me from myself.

That’s when I met my husband, Todd.  He closed the gaps in my life.  He buffed out the dullness I felt.  He helped me to move past my history, and trust again.  He brought joy, happiness, and meaning to my life.  To my children’s lives.

It’s critical to have someone in your life that brings fullness to an otherwise empty existence.  Sure, I had my children, but there was still a huge gaping hole, and Todd filled that in every way.  His love brought me back to life, and I’m thankful for that.

I know I write about my husband quite often, and when I proof read my posts, they always sound sappy, but there are things going on in our life at the present moment that remind me of how wonderful he is.  How lucky I am to have a man like him in my life.  And so… I just can’t help it.

I write about what I love.  Besides, it’s nice to say thank you once in a while, right?  This is my way of thanking him for making my life better.

8 comments

  1. you are inspiring. everytime I read your post I feel these are words of a woman who has been through a lot yet she chose to stay strong.
    and no its not sappy. you are giving hope to people that despite the hatred prevailing on the planet true love still exists.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you much for the kind words. I’ve been told (by those who will remain un-named) that I tend to overthink things, like it’s a bad thing or something.

      But I can tell you with complete certainty that “overthinking” has saved me from so much turmoil.

      I also just wanted to say thank you for reading my work. My hope is that other’s will see, that no matter the adversity, there is a way out.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I can’t control my thought process. I have horrible anxiety. I keep myself busy 24/7. yesterday I paced like a restless lion until my legs started hurting. but do you think anybody will understand this??
        they will just tell me to stop pacing. its not in my control.

        well. let them say. our brains are not that easy to tame so I just let things be. I can’t fight the stream of thought I have.

        I enjoy reading your blog. it gives me hope. thanks for being here 🙂

        Like

  2. Seems like you had your share of tough life and your husband now comes a soothing change in your topsy-turvy life. Write what makes you feel happy, cause you deserve every bit of it. When you write from your heart, it pours.

    Liked by 1 person

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